Continuing with the Mother’s Day theme, it’s about time I shared about my own motherhood journey and introduced my chamacos! It’s leftover movie theatre palomitas with salsa valentina for this post. Que rico!
Javier Edgar: the chamaco who made me a mama 4 years ago… by sorpresa! Jaja Enserio?! Yup, that’s right, Javi was not planned, but by surprise. & who doesn’t like a great surprise?? Me. Or so I thought?
Quick side note here: I love to plan, be organised, have all my ducks in a row, a set of goals, plenty of lists and colour coordinated everything. I. Am. That. Mujer.
After having the flu for a week, I had finally returned to work to teach my grade ones at the time. On my drive home, I suddenly thought of grabbing a roasted chicken for dinner and that way I wouldn’t have to cook. Pull into Sobey’s, walk in and feel a wave of the flu hitting me again. The smells were nauseating, I was for sure going to yak, but I needed that pollo. Hmm? Smells, nausea, craving?! Sera?! Ay Dios mio, I think I’m pregnant.
I head to the checkout with my pollo in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other. The cashier looked at me like, yeah mija, you are definitely pregnant. Pero whatever! I rush home, eat my chicken first and then pee on the stick. No biggie. I’m fine. It’s fine, everything is fine.
Two. Pink. Lines. I AM pregnant. No manches, que padre!! Wait, what? Shouldn’t I be freaking out, why am I happy? The surprise of being pregnant brought on the surprise that I was actually happy and excited. Pero what about the plans, being organised, having my ducks in a row and being settled first? I didn’t live with my boyfriend, he wasn’t my fiance let alone my husband, and now there’s a baby on the way?!
Y que? So what? Is there a rule book to having a family? No. So, I did what I always do: seguir adelante. Con ganas.
I shared the news with my boyfriend, who I knew was the one for me since a crazy, random trip to Myrtle Beach – but we’ll save that story for later. His reaction? “It works! It really works!!” Jajaja!
It’s almost Christmas and I’m off to Tbay for the holidays, alone. Well, the boyfriend decides to join me and surprise my parents with his arrival, with saying we are looking for a place to move into together, asking for permission to marry me, surprising me with a PROPOSAL, and lastly, sharing the news of the pregnancy. “Straight out of a telenovela right?!” – if you just read that in the narrator’s voice from Jane the Virgin, you are mi gente!! I’m still impressed nobody fainted that morning, what a holly jolly Christmas! Jaja!
The discovery of that little baby inside of me forever changed me. Proving that children will change you for the better, challenge you in all ways, make you question everything and anything, but ultimately, bring you pure joy and bliss with a heart full of amor.
Javier’s existence sealed the deal for us sooner than we expected, and we wouldn’t have had it any other way. By the way, I love surprises now. Gracias mijo.
Mireya Carmen: the chamaca who has given me my first grey hairs. Enserio.
Mireya, aka Yaya, Reya – baby numero dos. She just turned two, so we are in the terrible twos stage and yes, it is terrible. She is loca pero cute!! So cute! & she was planned. No, I didn’t go back on my new love for surprises, but I knew I wanted to enjoy my entire first mat leave with Javi without being pregnant and also having the opportunity to go back to work to qualify for a second mat leave. Yo quiero, yo quiero dinero!! – JLo, my girl.
When Javi was 11 months, we knew we were ready for the possibility of welcoming a second little babe into our lives. Since Javi was a surprise, I never experienced the doubts, the questioning, the lack of confidence in my body’s ability to create a baby. So all of that came rushing in: What if I can’t get pregnant again? What if it takes a long time? What if I have to seek other options to become pregnant? How would we afford that? AY AYYY AYYYY! Talk about ansiosa! But this was good, respira mama. It put me in a position to experience how becoming pregnant really is for us women. This is how it usually goes down. I can do this.
Javi turned the big UNO and a week later I feel pregnant again. Mother’s intuition isn’t it? I should know, I AM a mom aren’t I? Took the test, I failed. Here comes the disappointment. Also notice my initial reaction: I FAILED. uhhh doesn’t the test just say positive or negative? But here I am, shaming myself already! Yes, I was disappointed, yes I was scared, yes I felt like I had failed. But I also had faith. Si Dios quiera, sera.
Another week goes by. I’m sure I was supposed to get my visita del mes already, where was it? I check my app, period tracker – you know the one jajaja. I’m LATE. Asuuuu Madre!! I really AM pregnant. I buy a test: ayyyy Gracias a Dios, we had a second baby on the way. Blessed.
Mireya is fuerza y coraje. She is sassy, strong, determined, intelligent, and oh soooo cute. She made my “pro-mama” feeling fly right out the window, and has challenged me for the better. See? Again, children change you. I’m a different version of my mama self now with two than I was with just one. She has made me grow in ways I never imagined, and gain strength I never knew I had. She is one of my biggest motivations and she has defined me as mama poderosa.
Anything for mis chamacos & Being a mom con ganas. Mama Poderosa!